Friday, May 7, 2010

choices

"Which coat do you want to wear: green or purple?"

Green.

"What do you want for dinner: stickies or Spaghettios?"

Stickies (a.k.a. waffles). But, since Mommy had Spaghettios for dinner, she got both.

"Play outside or in Lola's room?"

Outside. Always outside.

I love that Lola has her own opinions! But I really, really love that she is capable now of telling us what they are!

We've bene giving her choices for several months, but it has only been in the last few weeks or so that she has actually understood the concept.

Last night, though, I took it to another level. It wasn't just about makihng a choice, it was about having to make a choice when neither option was what she wanted.

Some background information: Lola loves bathtime. She always has (except for a 2-3 month spurt around her first birthday). But while she used to, many months ago, take a "big girl bath" in the large tub, something at some point scared her. And she refused to take a bath unless I was in the tub with her. This was cute and wonderful for a few weeks, but lately, it's just a hassle.

So last night, while Ray was working, I decided to make the change: Lola was going to take a big girl bath on her own.

I got her undressed, filled the tub, placed her toys inside and set out her robe and towel. I asked her if she wanted to take a "splish-splash" and she said yes. So I picked her up and placed her, standing up, in the water. She was OK until she saw that I wasn't coming in after her.

She had a meltdown. She tried to climb out of the tub and was wailing for "Mommy in!"

After 2-3 minutes, she was sitting down but still screaming for me. I got her called down enough to ask, "Should Mommy wash your hair?"

(She hates having her hair washed. It is the absolute worst thing you can do to her. She'll even endure getting her nails trimmed or ears cleaned.)

So her answer was wuick and firm, "No!" she said, shaking her head.

So I told her, "Either Mommy will come in and wash your hair or Lola has to take a bath like a big girl."

The screaming continued soon afterward.

And it took me 4-5 times of using different wording and such to get her to understand her choice. But she eventually got it, quieted down and just said, "Mama sit?" And, as soon as she was convinced that I would sit right down next to the tub and not leave the bathroom, she was OK.

She even had a pretty good time.

(And, yes, I kept my word: I did not wash her hair.)

Have a great weekend!

And, happy Mom's Day to all the mommies out there!
- Bethany :)

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