Well, this is it. After 12 glorious weeks at home, I am now packing for daycare and my first day back to work. This summer flew by. Sure, there were tough days, but this was really the most summer of my life.
How am I feeling? Good question. It changes by the minute.
I am happy, sad, excited and anxious.
Mostly, I am just in awe at how fast time goes by. Since Amelia is (likely to be) our last baby, I have had more than a few mini panic attacks this week. She wore her first piece of clothing sized 3-6 months this weekend. Today, for the first time, she slept in her crib.
I don't want to forget what it was like, having a newborn and a 3-year-old together.
I don't want to forget how Millie's head lies on my shoulder, my cheek resting on her left temple. Her skin so soft, so warm, like a little hot orange. I don't want to forget how she snored so loudly for those first two months that I swear she could have rivaled Ray. Or how she curled up in those first days, her feet and knees tucked to her belly as she snuggled right into my chest, resting her face against my neck.
Today, at church, I was holding Lola, who likes to be held while the congregation sings. She got heavy after a while, so I changed positions, holding her like a baby. She smiled and put her head on my shoulder, wrapping her right away around my left and her left around my neck. We swayed and she hugged me tighter. She is so not a snuggler most days; this was not only unusual but special.
Uh, yeah, I guess I am bit more emotional today that I thought I was ... or than I thought I would be. I mean, I am going back to work, not leaving the country.
But I've gotten used to being around my girls 24/7. While I am ready to go back, I'm going to miss them terribly.