Saturday, September 15, 2012

Is it next week yet?



Friday (yesterday) was a hectic day (which, really, was on par for the whole week). Ray was going to be home with Millie and Lola was going to be at preschool.  Ray had to play taxicab so he could meet to work (we just have the one family car), get Lola to preschool and then was planning to take Millie grocery shopping and to do some errands. This all went OK, more or less, except for the two-hour wait he had to get new tires for the car. In the afternoon, we had a meeting with the school district to start getting Millie some early-intervention services. Afterward, Ray had to again, shuffle me to and fro work while getting Lola home from preschool, etc. It was just a lot of running around.

By the time he got me at the end of the work day, we all needed to unwind. So we went straight from my work to Target to blow some money on wants (versus need). We decided we would just grab dinner while we were out. Ray didn’t expect to be gone so long so he didn’t think to bring along Millie’s diaper bag, which has a variety of munchies for her. So, while at Target, I bought some of Millie’s favorite snacks – those dissolvable yogurt melt things – so she, too, could have something to eat while at the restaurant.

So we go sit down to eat and Millie is happily munching away on her melts. Except about 6-7 pieces into them, I realize she’s struggling with them a bit more than usual (she still doesn’t eat “real” solid food but anything dissolvable should be just fine). So I look at the package and realize that I didn’t get yogurt melts (for crawlers) but I got fruit and veggie snacks (for toddlers and older). Not a huge difference, but for Millie it could be. So, I thought I’d try giving her a black bean from my taco salad; she loves baked beans, even whole, so I wasn’t too worried about it. Well, maybe I should have been. She spit out about 1/5 of it almost immediately. I figured she just didn’t like it and we let it go. About 15 minutes later, she spit out another little piece. But she seemed fine so we went on with life.

When we got home, about 6 p.m., we thought we would put Millie to bed. We gave her a bottle and she immediately threw it all up, rather aggressively. But then she went to sleep.

We got Lola to bed about two hours later, at which time Millie woke up screaming and coughing and gagging. Now, this kid does not scream. She just doesn’t. She whimpers like a sad little puppy when she wants something. So something was amiss. She was crying – or at least trying to, but was huffing and puffing between outbursts. I picked her up and she was trying so hard to either throw up or getting something out of her throat. We tried a bottle and she refused to take it. About 20 minutes later, she was still crying and trying to cough/hack/puke and was gagging when she was trying to breath. I told Ray something was really wrong so off he went to the ER.

Basically, per Ray, the dr. at first wanted to just send them home saying it was most likely a cold. But then, when Ray told him about how she had thrown up, the dr. got more concerned (I guess that is a sign of an obstruction in the airway) and found that the oxygen levels in her blood were low. So, they hung out at the hospital until she apparently got whatever it was down her throat (I’m guessing whatever was left of the black bean, stupid Mommy…). He wanted to keep her at the ER until he saw her drink something but she refused the Pedialyte/whatever they offered her (Millie still won’t really take any liquids other than milk) and he eventually let Ray leave but cautioned him to watch her take slow, deliberate drinks of milk and make sure she wasn’t still vomiting it all up.

So, he came home. We tried giving her a bottle but she didn’t want it – she just wanted to sing and play at that point. But, eventually, we got her to go to sleep.

At 4 a.m. when she woke up hungry and cranky. I stayed up with her for about two hours as she drank some milk and fought to get back to sleep. I finally got her back down about 6 a.m., an hour before I had to get ready for work (thankfully, tonight is Ray’s night and I get to sleep in a bit tomorrow).

When I left for work, she seemed just fine again. Thank God.

But I’m exhausted, as I’m sure Ray is also.

This has just been one of the most draining weeks…

Here’s to hoping the weekend improves.
- Bethany :)


Friday, September 14, 2012

Processing…


It’s not so much that I have been avoiding a blog update. I just don’t know how to say these things.

As you likely know, Millie underwent her MRI on Tuesday. Millie enjoyed having the one-on-one attention from Ray and me. And she loved the toys that the hospital had to keep her entertained as they went through the pre-op steps.



We were able to be with her during the sedation and I was, as expected, a nervous wreck. But, really, it was so easy. They laid her down, put the mask on her and even though she didn’t like it and fought it for like 1.5 seconds, she was asleep within moments. I was picturing having to watch her thrash around or see her eyes roll backwards or something. It wasn’t like that at all. She just closed her eyes and went to sleep. No tears (from me or her).

The next hour was spent pacing around the waiting room, checking out the new playroom donated by Joe Mauer just the day before (it was really neat) and, really, mostly, just annoying the crap out of Ray, who is less fidgety than me.

She woke up and we went in to see her. She looked drunk and hung over, poor thing. She was happy to be held, but was whiny and really wanted something in her tummy (she hadn’t eaten in about 12 hours by then). They wanted her to take something clear first but Millie wouldn’t take anything so we gave her a bottle of milk and she was content. It took another 45 minutes or so before she was back to her happy self (they said it could take up to 24 hours).

Two hours later, we met with the neurologist about the results.

And this is where things get harder to explain…

All we know for certain is that the MRI was not normal. There was no diagnosis or prognosis offered at this point; the next step will be some more testing (blood work) to see what we can find out.

The potentials vary so much that I don’t want to even speculate here about what could be wrong – it is still possible that she will catch up and be just fine. We just don’t know at this point.

So, we’re choosing to focus on the positives – her recent development, her happy disposition, her desire to be around other people and other children – rather than freak out about the what-ifs.

At least that’s our goal.

Thanks to all for the prayers and good thoughts.
- Bethany :)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

school days, school days...

Today was Lola's first day at preschool!


She was apprehensive about the whole experience. Even last night, as we put her to bed, she was nervous. She's like me, she talks a lot when she's scared about something. Constant chattering.

This morning was a bit different, though. She was just quiet and a little needier than usual. But she warmed up to the idea of preschool as we packed her backpack and got her lunch ready. She even seemed kind of excited.


Once we got in the car and drove to school, though, I could sense her getting more and more tense. And, when it came time to actually get out of the car and to walk inside, she was teary-eyed.



When we got inside, she was crying, like whimpering, and she didn't want to stay. She kept asking to go home. All the kids were gathering in the gymnasium - the one place she did not want to go.

The teacher noticed us by now and offered a little compromise. While Lola still had to go inside the gym, the teacher told her she wouldn't have to play, that she could just sit with her instead.

Lola nodded, whispered a little yes, took the teacher's hand and quietly walked away.

My little girl is getting so big...
- Bethany :)