Friday, September 14, 2012

Processing…


It’s not so much that I have been avoiding a blog update. I just don’t know how to say these things.

As you likely know, Millie underwent her MRI on Tuesday. Millie enjoyed having the one-on-one attention from Ray and me. And she loved the toys that the hospital had to keep her entertained as they went through the pre-op steps.



We were able to be with her during the sedation and I was, as expected, a nervous wreck. But, really, it was so easy. They laid her down, put the mask on her and even though she didn’t like it and fought it for like 1.5 seconds, she was asleep within moments. I was picturing having to watch her thrash around or see her eyes roll backwards or something. It wasn’t like that at all. She just closed her eyes and went to sleep. No tears (from me or her).

The next hour was spent pacing around the waiting room, checking out the new playroom donated by Joe Mauer just the day before (it was really neat) and, really, mostly, just annoying the crap out of Ray, who is less fidgety than me.

She woke up and we went in to see her. She looked drunk and hung over, poor thing. She was happy to be held, but was whiny and really wanted something in her tummy (she hadn’t eaten in about 12 hours by then). They wanted her to take something clear first but Millie wouldn’t take anything so we gave her a bottle of milk and she was content. It took another 45 minutes or so before she was back to her happy self (they said it could take up to 24 hours).

Two hours later, we met with the neurologist about the results.

And this is where things get harder to explain…

All we know for certain is that the MRI was not normal. There was no diagnosis or prognosis offered at this point; the next step will be some more testing (blood work) to see what we can find out.

The potentials vary so much that I don’t want to even speculate here about what could be wrong – it is still possible that she will catch up and be just fine. We just don’t know at this point.

So, we’re choosing to focus on the positives – her recent development, her happy disposition, her desire to be around other people and other children – rather than freak out about the what-ifs.

At least that’s our goal.

Thanks to all for the prayers and good thoughts.
- Bethany :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I pray every second that I can. I hold you both so close to my heart that I think my heart actually hurts sometimes. I love you very much. Can't wait to see her big smiles! Hope next week goes extremely fast.