Tuesday, December 11, 2012

me and God

I'm a Christian, though I do not wear it on my sleeve.

I don't go around quoting Bible verses or talking daily about religion or my relationship with God. To me, that part of my life is private, though I am breaking that tradition today.

My faith is a huge part of who I am, particularly these days.

As we've progressed through these last seven months, learning more and more about what is "wrong" with Millie and the difficulties she has in life, my faith has played a pivotal role in how I've coped.

Generally, I don't question how God could allow her to have these struggles. Rather, I feel she is quite blessed, as I know her condition easily could have been much more debilitating or life-threatening.

When I pray, I pray that He gives her the strength, desire and fortitude to continue fighting, to continue making progress.

I don't pray for Him to heal her, because there is nothing to heal; this is who she is. Millie's future is up to her, to us, to keep encouraging her to conquer whatever obstacles may lay before her.

I believe Millie was not cursed with some rare condition, but that she was blessed with it. I feel like she is a blessing, that diversity of any kind in this world is a good thing. How boring would life be if we all looked the same, acted the same and experienced the same things?

Being Millie's mom, her caregiver, her advocate, has taught me so much, about life, about myself. I feel chosen as her mother. When I pray, I thank God. I thank Him for giving Millie to us, for trusting her into our hands, in our hearts.

I didn't intend this to be preachy, so forgive me if it has become so. It's just that, as we get closer to Christmas, I've been thinking more and more about miracles, about gifts, about life.

I believe in miracles.

But I don't pray for one for Millie's sake.

She is here, with us, doing well, learning more about life each day.

And that's worth celebrating.
- Bethany :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I knew that your middle name "Joy" was the perfect name for you. I need to read this each and everyday. I am so proud of you. I love you very much. And I agree whole heartedly that Millie is our little miracle! Mom