Wednesday, August 14, 2013

We're done.


Friday will mark the beginning of one of the stupider decisions I've made in recent years: to hold a garage sale (which, by the way, will be my first and last garage sale).

Ray and I months ago came to the mutual decision to rid our home of baby items, the stuff we no longer use and have absolutely no plans to use again.

In other words: We're done. Our family is complete.

Ray and I, together, last year came to the conclusion that we were done having children. We did so before we had Millie's diagnosis. So we know we made the decision on our own, without added considerations.

But this spring, we learned some genetic details that further cemented our decision. And while we did decide to stop procreating before that new information came to light, it also felt a little bit like a loss, if that makes any sense at all.

So I didn't know how I'd feel as I actually opened those baby tubs a few weeks ago, to begin sorting through and pricing baby items.

And?

It felt freeing.

I really expected to get twinges of regret as I removed itsy bitsy newborn onesies and baby socks (that never did stay on the girls' feet but did work well as baby mittens).

Instead, my reaction was much like, "Oh, I remember when Lola wore this, she screamed for four hours straight, thank gawd I won't have to go through that again."

That's not to say there weren't fond memories. There were, hundreds of them.

And I got to share them with Lola, since she helped me pair up outfits. I recapped her on a lot of the clothing and their associated memories, what she wore to her first-ever wedding (at three weeks old), or what Millie wore to her first "real" photo shoot.

She especially got a kick out of seeing her name on her "butt panties," the diaper cover we'd special-ordered for her first birthday.


Of course, there were about a dozen outfits that I had to set aside, that I have no intention of selling, unable to part with them.

But, overall, I am enjoying the idea of the rest of it leaving my house, to move on to families that will (hopefully) actually use it.

We're done.

And, surprisingly perhaps, I'm just fine with that.

- Bethany :)

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