Thursday, October 17, 2013

optimistic acceptance

I've had this (irrational?) fear for a while now.

That I've been somehow exaggerating Millie's troubles or somehow advocating for all sorts of unnecessary tests and procedures.

But now, seeing as though there is nothing new on the horizon and we're giving her a much-needed and much-deserved break, I'm adjusting to our new normal.

A few therapies here, a few more there. Nothing major and nothing too difficult to juggle for me with my work schedule (knock on wood).

Today, I hit a personal "mommy" milestone.

I hate clutter and will, on occasion, go on a de-cluttering mission throughout the house. A random closet here, a kitchen drawer there, etc.

Today, I de-cluttered my work desk.

And I paused at the Post-it that I've long kept taped right next to my keyboard, the one I've used to track every therapy session, every evaluation.

Can you read it?

It starts with where we started: May 25 (2012), when Millie had her first developmental evaluation with a pediatric physical therapist.

It goes on from there.

To date, she's had 72 physical therapy appointments, 40 OT appointments, 50 speech (or feeding) therapy appointments, and 30 visits with a school district therapist.

I threw it out.

Not because I don't kind of, sort of want to know.

But because it really doesn't matter, the number.

As our pediatrician told us well over a year ago, as we first were referred to a pediatric neurologist: She is who is, and sometimes you just have to wait until the kid is 4 to see what she'll be doing when she's 4. And wait until she's 8 and see what's doing when she's 8.

We'll give her all the help, encouragement and love that we possibly can.

And we'll be there every step of the way, on her side, cheering her on.

It's a new normal for me, kind of.

I call it optimistic acceptance: She is who she is.

And that's perfect.
- Bethany :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I remember that visit like it was yesterday. He is such a good dr and stated it so perfectly. We will all be there for her every step of the way...she is the most precious, happiest little girl ever. And you are doing an outstanding job!